I’m lost in my thoughts. He was supposed to be coming home this weekend. They told us the prognosis was good, and they would release him soon. My baby sister was supposed to be moving in with him. Everything was going to go back to the way it was. I had no idea a phone call on April 9, 2014 would be the phone call to change my life forever. It was all of sudden. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl, and I’ll always be a daddy’s girl. I miss him; super man is gone. I’ve lost a lot of people in the past decade or so. The last few deaths to hit me like a ton of bricks were my grandmother and my auntie. This is papa and it feels like someone ripped out my heart and stomped on it.
I say superman because that’s just what he was to me. You never picture something like this happening. I thought superman would be here forever. He was the sweetest man you could ever meet. He had a beautiful personality with a heart of gold. He would give you the shirt off his back if you told him you needed it. He was man that would go above and beyond for his family, especially his children.
I have the greatest memories of him. The one thing I’ll never forget is that smile. I never really saw him looking sad. He had this smile that made you smile. If I was ever feeling down I knew to go find pop, and whatever problem I had went right out the window. He was the greatest man I ever knew. When people went up to say a few words about him, everyone mentioned that smile and him being happy all the time. Most of my male cousins said they wanted to be just like him. His home going services and celebration of his life were beautiful.
All of the issues and drama went right out the window on that final day. I was able to sit down with all of my siblings and reminisce about papa aka pop pop. I’m going to be sad for a bit, but I know it won’t last forever; it’s not something he would have wanted. It wasn’t a good bye; it was a see you later. I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes. I’ve been reminiscing and now I have a smile on my face. The last thing he said to me was “I Love You”. The feeling of sadness is only temporary. Superman is gone, but he left his cape for his babies.
Superman is Gone!
If I didn’t have a phone
The bad news would be postponed
It would be a while before I knew that papa was gone.
Replaying the words in my head has me delirious
This pain is like none I have ever experienced
Not even heartbreak from a break up could compare
I swear this is some bullshit, and it isn’t fair
I don’t know if anyone else could understand
How it really feels to lose your very own super man