I decided I am going to blog at least three times a week. It’s time to get my day started. I have a writing workshop today. This just happens to be my favorite because I love to write. Speaking of which I need to edit the 50,000 words I wrote last year for NanoWriMo. That was fun and challenging.
As far as feeling the feelings that I feel. I’m still hurt. I sent messages telling him I would no longer contact him. He’s acting like I don’t exist, so there really is no point in doing so. He said he was my biggest fan, but someone in my corner wouldn’t ignore me and stop speaking to me. I’ve just been thinking about these things as of late. I went to see my shrink and talk to her about things. She made some valid points, which lead me to think about things.
Ironically, my mother has been a huge comfort, even though we never ever see eye to eye. She asked me yesterday to think about what pop would say to me if I came to him with this. I’m still trying to think about what he would say. I know it would be something crazy. I followed his crazy advice before and followed my heart. That got me nowhere. I’m not mad at him for that, though. My parents had a marriage that was not perfect. When he gave me the crazy advice, he told me his heart kept leading them back to my mother. He admitted a long time ago that he wasn’t perfect. My mom says the same thing. They got through it. She calls them rough patches. We miss him dearly.
Mom says to let it go, and if it were meant to be, he’ll come back to me. I think she said that just to comfort me. In the mean time. I have decided not to travel. She understands that, so since I decided not to come to Texas as soon as I wanted to, she’s going to go and see family in Denver. These last classes for my degree have been the hardest. I’ve got to get them and graduation out of the way before I make my next move. I also have to find other things to occupy my time. My workout sessions have gone into overdrive, and I’m looking for other things to do too.
My shrink says blogging is therapeutic. I don’t know why I ever stopped.