I have had some time to reflect upon a certain situation. When you are caught in your feelings, you look at things with clouded vision. You blame all the wrong people for things that occurred. The people blamed for the indiscretions of another are not guilt free, though. Let me just say that.They played their part in the madness of deceiving me, and shall never ever be trusted. There is only one person to blame for what has occurred and reoccurred. It is what it is, and I guess that’s all it is. Through all of this,I have learned a very valuable lesson. It is wise to think with your head, and not your heart. The heart can create feelings that we think is love when it’s really nothing more than a fairytale fantasy. Although it’s just supposed to be fantasy, it felt real to me. I can love someone and set them free, especially since it’s where they really want to be. I’ve taken myself out of the situation completely, this means I have given up. I don’t have the strength for this anymore. All parties can go and do whatever it is they want to do. When I say this, I say it without a cold heart. I am not and nor will I ever be that kind of person. Enjoy your life.
It’s super early and I just really need a good cup of coffee. Facebook and Twitter has me wondering this morning. When did birth control become the sole responsibility for the woman? I read some bullshit written by a female who is either clueless, or mommy dropped her too many times. She said, if women choose to have these children its their responsibility, and their fault they are single mothers, if the father doesn’t stay. On what planet does that statement make any sense? This is why I believe psychological evaluations should be done before individuals decide to procreate. A psychiatrist should let them know if they are mentally stable to take care of a child. I feel like this on subject of responsibility. If two people lay down and create a life, two people are responsible for the well being of the life THEY created. Oh, also for anyone who doesn’t want a child, but likes practice like they do. There’s this little thing we have called PREVENTION, try it. It’s not rocket science people.
First, let me say every one makes mistakes, and the heart wants what it wants. Everyone that knows me personally knows that I write about just about everything going in my life.You knew I’d write about this sooner or later. I’m sure everyone remembers my break up, and how it affected me. Here I was thinking, I had a shoulder to cry on, and that just wasn’t the case. I became collateral damage for a heartless troll scheming to get back at him. The one promise he and I made to each other, even if we broke up we would remain friends. That didn’t happen because the heartless troll was determined to keep us away from one another.
Yes, for this blog I’ll call her the heartless troll. She doesn’t deserve to be named, or that kind of fame. When you are hurt and in your feelings you don’t think logically. I confided in this person because I didn’t want to go to my family with this. She used me in her little game of get back at him. She manipulated him into thinking I hated him and vice versa. She took everything I said about him, which wasn’t malicious by the way, and went back to him with it. What kind of person does that? What kind of person sees someone hurting, and does things to make them hurt more?
She told me all this crap that wasn’t true. I ate it up because I was in my feelings, and not thinking logically at all. At this point in my life I should know that everyone is just not for me. After I got the full story I was on fire, and I mean my blood was boiling. Who in the fucking world does that? Why would you as a hurt person, turn around and hurt someone who has done nothing to you? You couldn’t be happy, so I can’t be. Trying to alter my reality, so my decision would turn out the way you wanted it to. I even gave you plenty of chances to come clean. Did you take one? No! You continued with your shenanigans. We had so much in common. We could have been good friends. You just mucked that all up.
You only continued to ask me about him to see if you’d been exposed. The jig is up. Your secret is out.I know everything, and why and how it occurred. You used my hurt feelings. What did you gain from it? Ask yourself that. It’s okay though. You have a fate worse than that and you don’t even know it. Every relationship you have from this point on will end in turmoil.Why? Because you’re selfish and heartless. These are the things that happen to heartless trolls, that take it upon themselves to hurt people who haven’t done jack to them. If you are reading I know you’re probably saying, but what about him? I’m not talking about him, I’m talking about you. Prepare yourself for your fate. HEARTLESS TROLL!!!!!
What happens in the dark will come to the light. I’m sure you can see the other end of the tunnel right about now.
I’m back, and I mean full on back. I took a nap earlier and woke up my old self again. How this occurred I do not know, but I am grateful for this. I took a little trip back in Dr. Who’s Tardis and landed back where I really need to be, in the body of the old me. Loca chic has returned, and It feels so freaking good, I could do a backflip. Well, I can’t do a backflip, but you understand where I’m coming from.
My Ethics class started Tuesday. Two more classes to go until I’m free to do me. I am hoping it is not as hard as psychometrics was. I swear to you I was ready to pull out my hair in that class. I’m still walking on egg shells waiting for my grade from that class. Dr. Hoeve was insane, but a good professor. Her style of teaching is similar to that of Dr. Ragsdale, another professor who tried to kill me academically.
I think my trip to Puerto Rico may be a solo one. Most of my friends are either in committed relationships, that don’t really recognize friendships outside of their bubble, married or chasing kids. I hate to do things solo, but it looks like that’s how it’s going to have to be, which sucks, but I’ll live. I just can’t wait I have so many plans. Until then, it’ll be get the grades and hustle like there’s no tomorrow.
I have a money goal for this year, so I’ll be busy with that too. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. <==== Insider, only a few who read this will get that.